Monday, February 2, 2009

Like waves in which you drown me shouting

I feel like I've been busy. I've been doing things. I swear that things have been done.

For the last semester (hell, the last year) I've been driving myself hard to try to become a reasonable job candidate. Even if it's not clear what counts as a good job candidate, there are things you have to do, things that you can work on and count as progress. My writing sample's better, I'm going to a conference, blah blah blah.  

But whatever that is, the focus, the drive, just knowing what to do next... whatever it was, I've lost it. I keep going to do work...and doing work...but it just doesn't feel like it's going anywhere.  

-- Second Suitor

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You can do it!!

Maybe just spend some time concentrating on your dissertation? That might remind you why you fell in love with philosophy in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Interviews? Fly-outs?

Cosmo Allegretti said...

With the market being the mouth of Moloch now, devouring most of us, sucking out every shred of motivation to do anything remotely resembling work, I have decided to shift gears, which has proven incredibly effective. There is hope! My Off-off-off-Broadway musical interpretation of Hegel's Philosophy of Right has been a wild success, especially compared with the Schopenhauer one-man show playing in the theater/cafe/temp agency next door. I have also decided to join the Casuist Kazoo Symphony Orchestra. We determine what piece we are going to play strictly on a case-by-case basis. My office, which used to be filled with copies of my CV, writing samples in various stages of editing, and stacks of padded envelopes in which to send out applications, is now filled with my origami figures with which I perform all of Plato's early and middle dialogues (I tried using pipe cleaners for the light saber that Socrates acquires in the later dialogues, but it did not have the effect I was going for, so until I figure that one out, it's only the middle and late). Soon I will construct Bentham's panopticon entirely out of Legos, which will afford me a small theater in which to perform my Lego interpretation of Foucault's Discipline & Punish!

Don't let the market get you down! Philosophy can remain your muse. There is plenty for us to do while we pass the time waiting for baby boomers to retire, die, or mysteriously disappear.

Xenophon said...

It just doesn't feel like it's going anywhere. Who cares? Grad school has to be about the journey, because there's no guarantee that there will be a career, or even a first job, at the end of it. If you don't love the trip, it's not worth continuing on it.

Anonymous said...

What? You hate your work?? Join the club with 97%+ of the world's population.

It's ok to sometimes get depressed about your work. But you need to get over it after a very short while and do your job. Or pick another job.

Anonymous said...

Here I am to make life worse for us all. Today a local paper ran an article that linked to a data base of all public school teachers in my district. I teach at a SLAC and there is a high school Spanish teacher in my district with 11 years in that makes TWICE what I do. I am TT and have 5 years in. A local high school history teacher with 5 years in makes 24k more than me a year.

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:51--time and worry and changing diapers is, after all, money. Would you take twice the money to deal with impudent asshole students, lesson plans that go minute-to-minute in 6 classes, and a 5-day-a-week clock job? Don't envy public (or even private) K-12 teachers--they might well give half their salaries for the freedom of even a 4/4 university teaching schedule.

Anonymous said...

Anon 7:39 - Perhaps 9:51 was trying to suggest that we should make more, not that the el-hi crowd should make less. I certainly don't envy some of these instructors and believe that they earn every penny, but 35-40,000 for a 4/4 load?